End of Life Decisions

I have a family member who has decided to end her life.

I am a big proponent of Suicide Prevention. I have been down that road myself and have lost a brother, a brother in-law, a few former school mates and a couple of friends who have committed suicide. 

But this is not that....not really.

You see, she is in pain. Lots of unbearable pain. And she has lived a long and extremely fruitful life which has been filled with art, education, and family. She has raised four boys, she has been a surrogate mother to my mom when her mother took her own life due to chronic pain. 

Her sweetheart, love of her life, and husband for almost 50 years passed away a few years ago. She has declined in health rapidly since he died. 

She has a broken hip that did not occur simply because she fell, but because a bone broke which caused her to fall which then led to the broken hip.  She can not have any surgery because of her almost life-long addiction to smoking.  She probably would not survive the surgery. 

And so, living in a state that legally allows her to be proactive in ending her life with the help of a doctor, she has take these steps and set the date. She will leave this earth on her own accord on Thursday, December 8.

Up until this time, I have not given much thought to this issue, although it has been big in the news of late.  It really became quite a hot topic with Jack Kevorkian in the 1990s. 

And it has become a trending topic recently with the young woman, Brittany Maynard, who at 29 was dealt the horrific blow of a terminal illness.  

So now, I must deal with this, on a very personal level. And it is strange for me, because Spiritually, I have been taught one way, but my heart tells me differently.  I am not necessarily seeking out advice or comments, because it will be through prayer and solitude that I come to understand how I feel about it. 

And really, she doesn't need to know my thoughts or feelings.

It is confusing, really, when I have fought for so long for others to understand how dark it can be and how most logic is gone from the person who is facing suicide. How difficult it is to ask for help, reach out, press on.  But my family member, she is of sound mind and a broken body. She has nothing left to give, she has nothing but pain, and insurance prevents the surgery to alleviate her pain due to her life long habit of smoking, which when she started was promoted as good for you...before she became addicted.  

I had other thoughts on what to write about today, but this news was given to me and I have been working through it. 

{Purse}onally Yours,
Tina