Chocolate Chip Cookies

Tonight my daughter and I made chocolate chip cookies. It is a bit of a break from the Christmas-themed sweets all over our home this time of year, but sometimes, a girl just needs a chocolate chip cookie!

My favorite part of the entire process is the teaching opportunity it offers in disguise. It is fun learning!  We talked about the difference between packing brown sugar and pouring white sugar. The importance of adding ingredients in order of your recipe. The importance of following your recipe until you have a few dishes under your belt...then experiment away! Fractions and math and measurements, oh my! We get to spend a good deal of time together. We learn from one another. It is funny how different we are. I am a clean up as you go kinda gal and she is a messy baker leaving spoons and cups and ingredients in her wake.

We have played with many different recipes and finally settled on this one...sadly, I don't recall where we found it so that I can give proper credit to the creator!

My girl is becoming quite the baker.

She measures out flour with such style.

 

So unique in her technique, that she uses the opposite end of the knife to accomplish her signature style. 

 

 And breaks free, like a boss. 

A Girl Boss. 

 

She does it again with vanilla. Such panache, this one!

Before my eyes begin to well up with tears due to how mature she seems... she returns to her normal, 10-year-old self by giving bunny ears to the ingredients. Phew, no need to make excuses about allergies or having something in my eye.
 

 

Here is what you will need to gather:

3/4 cup unsalted butter (melted then allowed to cool to room temperature)

3/4 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar 

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 whole large egg

1 large egg yolk

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp regular salt

Preheat oven to 325 degrees fahrenheit

Look at that sweetness. Not the sugar, the chef!


 

 Pure cookie gold.

 
Balls or Blobs?




We go back and forth in our house. Personally, I am a blob girl. It creates such a fabulous texture. My girl and my hubby would rather create perfect spheres by rolling them between their palms.  If I can get in there, I strategically place a few blobs. Because I am stubborn that way. And, it is an easy way to mark some for my consumption only!

Once you have placed your balls or blobs on the parchment paper lined baking sheet, pop these trays into your refrigerator for about 15 minutes.  

Then, put them in the preheated oven for 13 to 15 minutes. 

Place them on a cooling rack for at least 10 minutes. 

Enjoy. 

But stay away from the ones with the amazing texture, those are mine!

{Purse}onally Yours,


 

Weekend Warriors

My husband and I have a lot of neat ideas.

Really cool ideas. Awesome, even.

Need an example? Okay, well, for instance, shelves. We purchased items to make our own shelves, wood, brackets, etc.-several years ago. They are still in the laundry room, taking up space. On the floor. In the corner.

Oh, and a few years ago, we talked about building our own cabinet for our clothes which would  eliminate our closet and two hand-me-down dressers that take up so much real estate in the bedroom. This idea came after a trip to Ikea while in Georgia for a mini vacation - about four years ago. Talked...is the operative word.

Then, there was this one time that we chatted about building a BBQ pit in the back yard, with benches and a walkway...yeah. That didn't happen. Nope. Not one bit.

We are dreamers. Not doers.

Until this weekend! We finally took the plunge and DID IT. We created a headboard for our king-sized bed. (I have included the link to the video that we used at the end of this post. In the description portion of the page that the video is on, there are measurements for all sizes, from twin to California King).

We have been married for over 20 years and only had a headboard for about a year.  It was this really cool sleigh bed style with wrought iron slats. Then we had our daughter, and visions of her sticking her little head through them and us not being able to get her head back out...well, that didn't last very long.

She's 10. Her head has gotten bigger, and she is less apt to put it between slats and such. So, it's time.

 
My hubby showed me some Youtube videos with projects for headboards. We really liked The Rehab Life videos. They had simple construction projects with beautiful results. And, they included their adorable dog.

The next day, hubby went to our local Home Depot and bought the needed supplies, which for us, was almost everything. That was on a Saturday. It took much longer than he expected as he had to dig through a ton of warped boards before he found the perfect ones.  Add to that the hectic crowds out for Christmas shopping, traffic, etc.,  so he was not able to start the work that night.

This is a picture of the line at Target on Sunday which is where I where I was while he was sanding the wood pieces in our back yard. Even though it was very cold, he was probably better off than me!

On Sunday, he built the headboard.



He. Built. The. Headboard.



The whole thing.



In one evening.   (Enter the Hallelujah chorus...)

I state this like it is a miracle, because, well, it is. We are notorious for starting projects and not finishing them! We are professional procrastinators.






Hubby cut the boards down to size. It wasn't very complicated or time consuming but it was cold. Seriously cold. Little-bits-of-flurries cold. 

Once he cut the boards and sanded them, he brought the materials inside and got to work nailing and gluing. We had lots of discussion about which side of the boards to use. We're silly like that. By the way, I say "we" because I helped. Well, I called out measurements (that he had memorized), watched while he cut the boards, and also observed while he nailed and glued the headboard together.  So, I helped....right?

This is what it looked like once the nailing, gluing and design team talks were completed.  Next, we hung a plastic drop cloth in our kitchen area and sat the headboard against the protected wall.

We really liked same finish that the couple in the video used so we got Honey 272. Funny, I used to be so in love with the natural wood look. Now, not so much. I really like this finish, it is dark, but not too dark. Warm. Bedroom-y.


 

Here's where my talent came in.  He went off to work and I got to staining. It was really easy and quite therapeutic. I caught up on my Christmas music, a couple of short podcasts about minimalism,  I was even able to listen to a scope from the awesome HomeschoolScopes.tv group while finishing up. It took about two hours total to stain both sides. My hubby left for work thinking that I would possibly finish one side.  He doesn't know it yet, but I managed to turn this sucker around without any damage to the house or myself, and finished the whole thing. I am looking forward to his expression when he gets home from work!

And here is the finished product! Our new headboard! Isn't it pretty. and rustic, and gorgeous? I am really pleased with it. Pleased as punch! The fact that we made it ourselves, makes it so cool. The fact that we finished this in a weekend is amazing and makes it so much cooler!
 

I have added the link to the video we viewed for this project. This couple has some really neat projects that are affordable and doable. We are already looking at their videos on a frame for a mirror, and a shoe rack that they called industrial shelving (which looks like a three-tiered lovely thingy and shoe rack nor industrial shelving seems to do it justice).

We are also searching for a DIY video on the "cabinets" idea we fell in love with at Ikea...that we now know to be called wardrobe cabinet. They may have one and we haven't gotten far enough. I am hoping so because we really like how they do what they do.

No longer "just dreamers", we are on our way to becoming bonafide "doers".  With little to no experience, we crafted a beautiful, life-long, family heirloom that may someday be considered an antique and quite possibly end up in the Smithsonian....nah, still dreaming! I did put hubby's name and the date in sharpie ink on the back. I can see handing this down to our daughter some day who may hand it down to her daughter.  So, maybe not a museum, but definitely a family thing.

Here is the link I told you about earlier:

$20 Rustic Headboard - DIY Project with The Rehab Life

P.S. The $20 Rustic Headboard Project by The Rehab Life folks ended up costing us a wee bit more, I believe The Rehab Life people probably had a lot of the supplies already on hand.  This is what they do, I mean, the name says it all...rehab...meaning recycle, redo, DIY projects, etc. Plus, their project appeared to be for a queen-size or a full-size bed.  We purchased the wood ($82.17), glue ($5.47), nails ($3.47), screws ($5.98), sponge brush ($0.77), stain ($7.77), plastic drop sheet ($1.98), lag screws ($3.12), washers for lag screws ($0.84) and a specific blade for the circular saw ($13.97) for a total of $126.31.  But it was worth every dollar and every penny. It still cost less than what we would pay for if we went shopping at a furniture store or even sought out a carpenter.  So we are more than pleased and even a bit proud.  Thanks Rehab Life folks! Say hello to the cutie patootie pup for us.

{Purse}onally Yours,

My 2017 Word

Every year I try to sit down and write out my resolutions. I don't know why I do because I don't follow them. I could probably have saved my self some ink and just copied the first year I started making them...and then reusing it each year. They were always the same list give or take a boyfriend's name or a particular vice I was struggling with like smoking or drinking too much Diet Coke.

1. Strengthen my relationship with Jesus
2. Get healthy
3. Lose weight
4. Use the gym membership I have been paying for since I turned 22
5. Write more correspondence
6. Journal daily
7. Find a better job

I stopped stressing myself out so much with these resolutions a couple of years back when I heard about My One Word by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen.

It was new, and less intimidating than a list. It allowed me to focus on what I wanted to see happen rather than list out my failures.  When I wrote "get healthy" what I was really saying to myself was "quit eating fast food, quit drinking so much, try eating some salad for a change".  When I wrote "find a better job" what I was really saying to myself was "your job stinks, you stink at it, go find something better". When I wrote "use the gym membership" I was really stating that I needed to actually attend the gym, not just pay for it, to see real results.

This concept of just one word intrigued me. 


And so after much prayer and thought, I came up with my one word for 2014: Believe.  I needed that reminder believe that anything was possible. Specifically I was a new mom and had started my second home-based business and really wanted to get into that top 2% of the company that makes six figures.  I didn't make it in to the top 2% but I did move forward and received recognition, a team, and a higher paycheck.

My 2015 word was Eucharisteo which I found through reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts. It means "grace" and also "thanksgiving" and I felt that I needed to be more thankful to God for everything, my highs and my lows. And wonderfully so, my anxiety lessened during the year that was filled with plenty of anxious moments.

2016 brought me to Soar.  I chose this word for my business but God did something else for me. He showed me how to rely on Him and in relying on Him I could rise above, that I could fly, and even soar.  This particular year brought me to some serious lows in my life. I was coming through the end of a three-year depression. I joined Celebrate Recovery for help with my people-pleasing after several situations had ended very badly. I set boundaries with some people in my life.  And I started to experience peace. And, although my business did not soar, I did. On such a personal and spiritual level. It was still my word because I rose above and flew. And it was beautiful.

And it is that time once again, to pick my one word for 2017.  I didn't have to do much thought for this one. You see, God has been whispering this word to me for some time now.  He has been placing it in conversations, in the songs I hear, in the programs I watch, in the magazines or books I am reading.  He has woken me in the night with it.  And I am finally ready to listen, to meditate on it, and let it marinate in my heart for a bit. 

 

That's it. Simplify. Simplicity. Simple. That's my word.

I can apply this word to every area of my life, and especially the areas that have caused me grief, that I have used to sin, that I have used to justify, and that I have used to stay in a pit.

My husband and I spent the first six years of our marriage in a 425 square foot cabin that sat on 5 acres of land. It was a precious little nest but it was challenging as well. We married in our late 20s so we both had created full households on our own of furniture, electronics, dishes, etc.  We could not force both of our households into this little space no matter how hard we tried.  So we got rid of a lot of stuff. And we learned to live in this small space. Six years without a pantry, without a broom closet, without a couch, without end tables, without cabinet and counter space.  If we owned it, you could see it. Out in the open, no where to hide.  And it was bliss, there was no clutter, no hidden space.  Shopping was easy, you couldn't add anything more to this little household.  

Then, we moved up...so to speak. We found an 1100 square feet home in an older neighborhood. We almost tripled our living space and it didn't take long for us to fill it up. Especially me. As I was moving through my anxiety and depression I learned that a way to feel better was to shop. And I wanted to feel better, so shop...I did!

I also moved into the home-based business world. Along with that came kits, and papers, and folders, and mailings, and catalogs.  And awards, and conferences, and ribbons, and so much more.  

And then we had our daughter, and with her came stuff. Stollers, car seats, toys, blankets, a crib and bassinet, clothes, and toys, and photo albums, and scrap books, and toys....lots and lots of toys!  With motherhood came more anxiety and more depression. And more shopping.   

And I wasn't aware that my shopping was a way to endure. I knew I felt better, even for a little while. But I didn't realize that it was a coping mechanism. 

The more stuff I brought in, the more I looked for ways to organize. To stuff and hide and file and store.  But no matter how many trips to the Container Store I made, no matter how many clear shoe boxes I purchased, I could not get it together.

I bought books about organizing and decluttering, I watched talk shows about it, I sought out advice from friends who seemed to have it together, but I could not get it together. I would attempt to organize one area of my home but get sick when I actually started. I mean literally, I would feel physically ill. I would get nauseous, a headache would come on, tears would fill my eyes and the room would start to spin. If I was able to move through the sick feelings, I would soon become overwhelmed. I had no where to place anything that I was trying to move out. In order to organize my office, I would try to remove anything that didn't belong such as craft supplies, my Thirty-One stuff, homeschool supplies, etc.  But I couldn't set anything anywhere because every available space was already taken. With boxes of other stuff that couldn't fit into any room.  In order to not completely lose my mind and feel that I had done something, anything, I found a space that wasn't too difficult such as the junk drawer of my bedroom closet. The problem with this was although I knew that I had accomplished something, no matter how small, my house was still a big crazy mess because what I had worked on was out of view.  

And only now, after my Soul Clutter has been cleared, can I truly see what needs to be done.  

I don't need to organize.

I need to purge.

Less is more.

Keep it simple.

Remove the stuff. 

Let go of any attachment that I have to these inanimate objects and as my sister likes to say "Let that $#&@ go".

I don't need my skinny clothes because if and when I fit back into them, they may be seriously out of style. I don't need the organizing boxes because I have no where to place them but on the floor.  I don't need every receipt from the last seven years of my Thirty-One business, nor do I need out of date training and catalogs and products that are last season.  I don't need every piece of my daughter's education. Every paper, every art project, every test.  I don't need every sermon note I have ever taken during service. I don't need 138 photo albums that I never sit down to look at. I don't need every book I have ever read.

And something else....I need to stop my crafting and planner supply shopping at Michael's and Joanne's and Hobby Lobby.  I sat on my living room floor with all of those things and was flooded with emotions. I had so much stuff. And sadly, a lot of it was still in it's original packaging.  I felt sadness that I had wasted money. And time. And space. I felt anger too. And then I felt overtaken, who was this person who did this? Who kept bringing the stuff into her house and not having a place for everything? Who was she, and could I get rid of her? And let the real girl who I am supposed to be, who God designed me to be, live and breathe.  

 

My husband and I had a great budget meeting last week. And because of that, I am humbled and excited.  Humbled because he loves me. And has stuck by me through this ugly phase of our life together.  Humbled because he is not yelling, or throwing his hands in the air, or demanding my debit card.  Humbled because together we came up with a plan. Humbled because he says he hasn't been the best spender either. 

Excited, because now I can see what I have to do. Excited because I have accountability. Excited because I am losing my emotional attachment to my stuff.  Excited because I am not spending. At all. I mean, we are so close to Christmas, and I haven't bought a thing. Don't stress, we have that planned out too. I have opted for no gifts for myself, but that I would like to get a couple of things for our girl.  

And I am curious, how much of the clutter and spending and storing has contributed to my anxiety and depression? Will I move forward and lose these things? Or at least witness the lessening of them? Will I start to see more clearly, and lose weight, and lose illness? I bet I will. For sure.

I am ready to purge. And then find a place for everything. Everything. I am ready to live and breathe and show my girl how it can be done.  I am hopeful that I can show my husband that I can do it, and that he can breathe too. I am not joining any more studies, co-ops, clubs, etc. I have a few groups that I belong to that are important to me in that they further my mission. My mission of being a wife, mother, homemaker, homeschooler, and friend. That's it.

 

 

No more band-aids or self-help books. Just purge. Just get rid of it. Gift it to a shelter, a library, a non-profit ministry.  I used to believe that people who lived lives of minimalism were suffering. That they were deprived of the little things that made them happy.  But now I know better. 

 {Purse}onally Yours,

I Love Julie

I love Julie Bogart. If you are a homeschooling parent, and you have heard of Julie, then this would be the only sentence needed in this post. You would knowingly nod your head and a smile would form at the corner of your mouth. Your heart would feel all warm and mushy and flutter. And you would go on about your day.

If you have not heard of her, then let me introduce you to her.

 

Julie Bogart, creator and owner of Brave Writer, the online writing and language arts program.

She is lovely. She has "been there, done that, and survived" with all of her adult children.  And she continues to encourage others who are there in the battlefield.

I discovered her through Periscope after one of the gals I follow from Homeschool Scopes shared one of her videos. I fell head over heels in Girl Crush with her. Then I searched her out and found her on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and her site The Homeschool Alliance. I look forward to her daily readings from her book A Gracious Space: Fall: Daily Reflections to Sustain Your Homeschooling Commitment (Volume 1). (She has one for Summer and Spring and Winter volumes as well.)

She is accomplished, and amazing, and phenomenal. She speaks like she writes. Fluid, gentle, clarity, and imagination. You feel like you are right there with her while she is doing a Facebook Live video or Periscope, as if you are sitting across from her at her kitchen table, sipping tea and listening earnestly and feeling much better.


About your parenting.

About the way you educate your child. 

About yourself.

About the world you live in.

About your tuna casserole that you cooked for dinner and forgot about in the oven, for two hours.

She is that good.

It is her gift.

(By the way, she also teaches you how to bring out the creative writer in your child. And maybe even you!)

You must check her out if you haven't already.

Today's Facebook Live video was especially encouraging. Go ahead, click on it.

You know you want to. 








Hey...

Why are you still here? Go on, go click on the link and witness for yourself the greatness that is Julie Bogart, Brave Writer.

Grocery Shopping Made Easy

Confession.

I love to grocery shop.

Yep. I do.

I hear all of my gal pals talk of how much they loathe it. And I'm all like "Whaaaaat? How can you NOT like to grocery shop?"  I began to wonder, is there something wrong with me...that I love something so many of my friends do not?

In thinking about it I broke it down a bit and realized that it is not the shopping that I love, it is the spending that I love. Seriously. I actually get a rush from doing it. From going into the store and looking around and coveting everything. Buying it is an even bigger rush. Is it a behavioral problem? Character defect? An issue that requires medicine and therapy? Could be. But I don't want to make it more than it is, or seek treatment, or anything big like that. For me, that would be a band aid. A cover for what the real problem is. I have to get to the center of it and figure out the "why" before I can figure out the "how".  For some people, some issues don't require all of that...some issues simply require discipline.  And that is my issue.  Discipline, sticking to a budget, calming the inner cray cray child who just wants to have it all...stuffed into an 1,100 square foot house.

Truth be told, I am very much aware of this little issue I have....because it isn't little. It's big. I would head to the super stores because I could get what I was supposed to buy, groceries, and also throw in a few other fun things and because I mixed it in with the groceries, I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.  Super stores are your go-to when you have a spending problem, it is an easy way to get a rush without getting in major trouble. At least right away.

Eventually your family will notice the bags, and packages, and the need for storage cubes because you need a place for the STUFF. The journals, the planners, the planner things, the extra Thirty-One, every essential oil in the doTERRA catalog...

Another Confession.

I had a credit card. My husband hates credit cards. I am supposed to hate them. And, I do, but not enough to not get one and not use it when my desire to accumulate STUFF is bigger.  He knew of the credit card and gave me fair warning. He warned me to be careful, to only use it for what I said it was for...business expenses.  I got it around the time that I was heading to a conference.  That was a year and a half ago. And it didn't take long to get a pretty fat bill. 

We finally sat down and went over our budget, and the credit card bill, and some tough decisions were made.  Tough, but very necessary. 

I am not spending, at all. We are discussing every purchase. Every field trip, every book and restaurant and everything. 

I found a way to grocery shop and stick to my list with out deviating one iota.

Grocery Pick Up. 

I visited Walmart's site, created an account and clicked on Grocery Pickup.  I entered my list by typing the first item on my list, spinach.  It brought up every form of spinach in the store from bagged to canned.  I had my list entered in about 10 minutes.  Then I chose a time frame to pick it up and double-checked the location to pick it up at.

I received an email confirming my list, pick up date and time as well as location.  It also had instructions for calling 15 minutes prior to arrival or downloading the app to check-in.   

The next morning, I checked in on my phone and headed to the store.  There were bright orange pickup signs that led me to an area behind the store with reserved parking. I pulled in, called the number on the parking sign and they were out in a flash. They loaded the groceries, discussed two substitutions and had me sign that I had received my grocery order. And, they were bearing gifts!  I received this little tote with some samples inside. 

 

My shopping was done and it was per my list. I stayed on budget and didn't even have to leave the car.  It was AWESOME SAUCE.  And really, who wants to go inside a super store during this time of year? Even a shopping addict such as myself gets a bit anxious from all of the craziness that goes on in there.  

Someday, soon, I will be able to walk into a store and avoid my triggers, but for now, this is so helpful!  

If you have not tried it, you might consider it. It was amazing. And, if you let me refer you, I get $10 off of my next order! 

{Purse}onally Yours,
Tina

 

FlutterShy

Our Elf on the Shelf, FlutterShy, is celebrating her fourth anniversary with us. A lot has been said of these mischievous elves. Some say that they are creepy. Some feel that they send the wrong message to children during this Christmas Season. Some think it is a tool to drive parents crazy. Some think they are a waste of time. At one time or another I agreed with each of these points.

 The Adoption in 2012

Our little girl  was only six when we adopted our Elf.  She is now 10 years old, and still "believes" in the "magic" of Christmas. She very well knows what Christmas means. She knows that it is what we as Christians do to celebrate the birth of our Savior. But she is also a child, who is still floating in the innocence of flying reindeer, Santa Claus, elves building toys, and all that is absolutely unbelievable to us as adults.  For that matter she still believes in the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

And with all that she will face in this cruel harsh world, I am totally okay with that. 

So my hubby and I leap around like total crazies finding new places and setting up scenarios. We may not have much time left to do this as she is getting closer and closer to totally busting us, and her teen years are fast approaching.

 Her first hiding spot on a shelf (of course!) in Olivia's room.

A date with the Nutcracker.

 

Snow angels on my counter!

Hanging upside down in our entertainment center.  









This year, our scout elf received a package from the North Pole to commemorate her 4th anniversary with us. A kit filled with tools to help mom and dad...er....FlutterShy come up with new ways to be silly. Thank goodness! We, uh, I mean SHE has been racking her brain for ideas.

 

She's been swinging and rappelling and zip-lining all over the house ever since!

With all of the magic and fairy tales during this season, our Elf is always sure to remind Olivia that the best and truest reason for Christmas can be found in our Bible.

The day is coming when she will learn the truth. When the innocence of childhood slips away.  But I want her to be able to look back on these events of silly elves, chocolate giving bunnies and a little fairy that passes through a special door to exchange cash for her baby teeth with a fond heart. I want her to remember that we jumped around like idiots to stay on top of the antics each night, to remember to have a few singles on hand, to hide a basket full of candy from a curious child in a very small house.  Because we lover her, and her innocence, and her childhood.

Gingerbread Houses and Dead Batteries

For the last few years a precious friend, Cheryl,  has held a Gingerbread House Decorating Party. We have learned something new each year, for instance, the first year, we discovered that it is really beneficial to assemble your house the day before the party. The first event turned into several hours! But we love each others company so it really wasn't a hard thing on us.

The second year she opened it up to more friends and I met a new friend, Carrie.  All three of us homeschool and it has given us more community and a safe place to vent and encourage.

The third year,  this year, I felt pretty much in control. I bought the kit on sale, early, a few weeks early. The night before the party (last night) my daughter and I started the assembly process.

 

The beginning, visions of sugar plums and a Chip & Joanna Gaines structure!

 "Mom, this is hard, this frosting is hard, is it supposed to be this hard?"

" I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Mom?"

 

The assembly was going well, till I realized I used the roof as a side wall. I fixed my mistake and according the instructions, we set it aside for two hours to add the roof.

I added the roof, my daughter had lost interest at this point. No worries, I don't want to cram these memory making moments down her throat all for the sake of happy memories that eventually lead to the therapy couch!

The house broke.

Broke. Fell apart. Terminated. Crumbled. 

An hour goes by filled with more frosting/caulk, filth and flar, and sailor talk. 

My girl was shielded with a holiday movie. 

I grabbed the hot glue gun. I grabbed the wine. 

And together with my new side kicks, I glued the darned contraption together.

 

 

The next morning, today, I gathered the now indestructible house, the candy to decorate it with and more frosting and my girl and got us settled in the car. 

But it wouldn't start. 

So I got the handy dandy car charger contraption my hubby picked up for me for situations just like this.  

It was dead. 

Dead I tell ya!

So, I went back into the house after texting my friend that we would be late and woke my husband up. He works second shift and still had about two hours of sleep ahead of him. My thought was he will give me a jump and he can be back in bed in no time.

Ahem. 

Do you see where this is going? 

 

He pulled his truck in front of mine, did the thing with the cables and had me turn the key.

Dead.

Dead I tell ya!!

"Let it run for a bit and we can try it again." 

We let it run. We tried it again. Dead.

I was nearing a mini-breakdown. This whole week the enemy has been hanging out in my house, in my life, in my head. Messing with me. Taunting me. Spills, accidents, a bill that somehow wasn't paid on time, a family issue, blah blah blah.

My husband saw the welled up tears. He saw the drawn face. He witnessed the moving lips of hurried prayer. He knew I was about to come undone. We had been talking about this party, looking forward to it, and now....

So, he did what any really good man would do. He put aside his needs, and he unpacked the things and the kid and me from my vehicle. He put us in his truck and took us to our party. Without a word of how he should be in bed, resting, for the big night of labor he would be involved in.  

We arrived at the party and were now an hour and a half late. 

But my precious host was gracious and welcoming!  

We were fed, and loved on. And for another hour, I felt peace. And I thanked God for an unbelievably fabulous husband. And for my friends. And for the smiles on my girl's face.

The battery isn't actually dead. Hubby took it to be tested while we were partying it up.

 It is fine. Something else is wrong. So we are without transportation for a few days till he can work on it.  Which is okay. It will force me to put my attention where it needs to be right now.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.

That, my friends, is another post for another day!

PS I am already preparing for next year's gingerbread house....

End of Life Decisions

I have a family member who has decided to end her life.

I am a big proponent of Suicide Prevention. I have been down that road myself and have lost a brother, a brother in-law, a few former school mates and a couple of friends who have committed suicide. 

But this is not that....not really.

You see, she is in pain. Lots of unbearable pain. And she has lived a long and extremely fruitful life which has been filled with art, education, and family. She has raised four boys, she has been a surrogate mother to my mom when her mother took her own life due to chronic pain. 

Her sweetheart, love of her life, and husband for almost 50 years passed away a few years ago. She has declined in health rapidly since he died. 

She has a broken hip that did not occur simply because she fell, but because a bone broke which caused her to fall which then led to the broken hip.  She can not have any surgery because of her almost life-long addiction to smoking.  She probably would not survive the surgery. 

And so, living in a state that legally allows her to be proactive in ending her life with the help of a doctor, she has take these steps and set the date. She will leave this earth on her own accord on Thursday, December 8.

Up until this time, I have not given much thought to this issue, although it has been big in the news of late.  It really became quite a hot topic with Jack Kevorkian in the 1990s. 

And it has become a trending topic recently with the young woman, Brittany Maynard, who at 29 was dealt the horrific blow of a terminal illness.  

So now, I must deal with this, on a very personal level. And it is strange for me, because Spiritually, I have been taught one way, but my heart tells me differently.  I am not necessarily seeking out advice or comments, because it will be through prayer and solitude that I come to understand how I feel about it. 

And really, she doesn't need to know my thoughts or feelings.

It is confusing, really, when I have fought for so long for others to understand how dark it can be and how most logic is gone from the person who is facing suicide. How difficult it is to ask for help, reach out, press on.  But my family member, she is of sound mind and a broken body. She has nothing left to give, she has nothing but pain, and insurance prevents the surgery to alleviate her pain due to her life long habit of smoking, which when she started was promoted as good for you...before she became addicted.  

I had other thoughts on what to write about today, but this news was given to me and I have been working through it. 

{Purse}onally Yours,
Tina

God Whispered A Little Love From Nature...

The other day, I stepped out to run some errands. As I was heading down the three steps from my side door porch to head to my car, I saw a large leaf. It had a hear shaped cut out. It looked as if someone might have done it on purpose. Busy, I bustled along.

When I got back home, it was still there. It was a windy and rainy day so I was surprised that it was still there. I brought it inside. My daughter and husband both made comments about the heart that they saw. It was very interesting and conversation provoking.

Later in the day, I took a picture of it and threw it all over social media.  It got a lot of positive response.

It reminded me of a poem I hear a long time ago. I don't know who wrote it.

When a man whispered .....

---

A man whispered, "God, speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang, but the man did not hear.
So the man yelled "God, speak to me"
And, the thunder rolled across the sky. But, the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, "God let me see you."
And a star shined brightly. But the man did not notice.
And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle."
And, a life was born. But the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
where upon God reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.
-Unknown


I believe God placed this leaf on my porch for me.  I believe that God reached down and pressed a heart shape from this leaf and stuck it to my little porch. A love letter of sorts. A message, perhaps.

"Slow down, take notice. Don't get so busy that you fail to see Me when I am reaching out to you."

DIY Goo Gone

One of my pet peeves is that manufacturers, retailers, etc., place price stickers in the worst possible place for the consumers.  Picture frames end up with it splattered right in the middle of the glass.  The stickers on books never seem to come off easily and end up leaving sticky bits in the front corner of the cover.  Glasses, dishes, coffee mugs, vases, and more. Always in the worst spot.  You try to carefully peel it off and get about 1/3 of the way through when it catches and tears and leaves a trail of fuzzy white paper still stuck to your item.

When I was a younger bride in the late 90's I was introduced to Goo Gone. I thought it was the next best thing since sliced bread! Now, later in my years and having a little girl, I am trying to take steps to use non-toxic products.  And, Goo Gone, has some nasty stuff in it. It irritates my eyes and nose, and it also leaves an oily residue behind.

I decided to check Pinterest for a recipe and, Voilà!  I found several recipes.

Here is what you will need:
1 Part Baking Soda
1 Part Coconut Oil (melted down or you can use fractionated)
Several Drops of Essential Oils (I used Wild Orange)


Mix together the baking soda and coconut oil to create a paste.  Add your essential oils and mix.

That's it.

No factory, no fillers, no toxins, irritants, etc.

I packed it in a small jar with an airtight lid.  The oil tends to collect at the top so I grab a cotton swab to mix it up a bit and then use that same swab to apply the homemade paste to leftover adhesive.  After a minute or so, I moisten a paper-towel and wipe away the paste. For stubborn sticky stuff, you may need to use a little elbow grease, err....index finger grease, to wipe it away.

{Purse}onally Yours,
Tina

The Creative Girl In Me

Recently, I participated in a challenge from MacKenzie Monroe whom I follow on Periscope (@BOLDTurquoise).  She created #HeartInHandChallenge to help women dig into the Word and write it out in a way that best met their style. She created a free downloadable bookmark that had the 30 verses (one for each day of November) on it.

Some ladies wrote out their verses on index cards or sticky notes.
Some ladies used their planners and wrote out the verse in an empty space.
Some used hand lettering, some used crafting materials.
Some painted pictures.

Because the challenge involved scripture writing I felt confident that if nothing else, I could simply record the verse in a notebook.  Simple. Easy. Can do. I've got this.


To sum up my artistic abilities I will say this: I am not an artist.  Stick people drawings intimidate me. Even paint-by-number kits are difficult for my psyche.

I have stacks of stamps, scrap-booking paper, eyelets, embellishments, etc. But they are just that, stacks. Unopened, unused and wasted money piles.


I want to be crafty. I want to be artsy. I know there is a Creative Girl living inside of me because she whispers ideas into the right side of my brain "here's an idea" or "remember when you were in that place and saw that thing you wanted to try and recreate" or even "think about this pattern" and so on. And, she won out multiple times when I was younger. I had dreams of becoming a record producer and would cut apart magazines and create "album covers" for artists and for music that did not yet exist.

I knew Creative Girl was inside as a young girl. I yearned to create and paint and express myself. I took art classes as electives during my junior high years. I really tried, but I could not seem to produce what the other students produced: at the least, mediocre work and at best, 7th-9th grade masterpieces.

Preparing for this challenge I grabbed an empty journal thinking that I would practice my lettering while copying my verses. I opened the crisp new pages of the journal and decided to at least try using some of my pretty paper...

And then my Creative Girl whispered to me "grab some paint, just try it and see".
So I did. I felt decent about what I saw after putting the paint covered brush to my journal pages.

And then, something beautiful happened. Creative Girl boldly said, "Alright Girl, let's see what you had locked up inside of you" and she took the brush and started to experiment.  And pretty things started to develop. Ideas flowed. Beauty started to unravel from my twisted self and opened up.

You see, the past year or so I have been working on me. The wounded, abused, neglected and shamed girl.  The people pleaser, the co-dependent, the easily offended girl.  The anxiety ridden and depressed girl. Those parts of me are healing. And as the Hand of God has started this healing process, my Soul Clutter has started to swim to the top like the dross from silver.  The impurities floated to the surface and He wiped them away.  And Creative Girl finally had a clear path to come closer to my heart, my soul, the right side of my brain.

 

 

They are not master pieces, they probably would not be hung in a gallery, but I like them. My junior high school art teacher might critique me on the depth or dimensions or blending. But I know the journey it took to travel from a girl who was hard on herself and didn't think that her stick people were worth putting on paper to the girl who threw all self negative thinking aside and took the pretty paper and pots of paint and decided to just go for it.   

I would love to be able to express thanks to Mrs. Monroe who unknowingly was used by God to help me express myself. Maybe someday I will be able to do that outside of Instagram or Periscope.  

{Purse}onally Yours,

Tina